I love yous

I've said "I love you" to guys before. I always thought I meant it. But I was green and thought I was pretty clean, but honestly, I was just clouded by the thrill of experience. Everytime "I love you" came, it was with a feeling of expectance...like you conciously thought "now is a good time, 'I love you, XXX' ". But I've had this new feeling where...you're not always so concious of how much you really fucking love someone, and suddenly there's one thing that this one person does that triggers it- you're awareness- you're awareness of how much you are in love. And I'll be honest, love is more pain than pleasure. The rush of extreme love that goes through your veins has this like...warm low burn, and it's startling the first few seconds. Then it cools and you are so happy and warm, and willing. You're absolutely willing to do anything for them, you're willing to open your heart to them and that's when you declare it, declare the ultimate feeling for someone, "I love you." And that's 100%. Kinda like what everyone is looking for. I've felt that.