So like...I saw what I was becoming- this once was pretty girl who got to a point in her life where she was much less pretty. She grew into the type of woman who has one kid from another point in her life where that just happened. It was great that it happened, but it did just happen. And she still smokes cigarettes and does a little weed, but she found some creative way to have a creative job, it doesn't make much, but it does enough. And she's just mildly living...forever. And the colors are really gray, and when you look at your child, they're so much more..bright. And you wonder if she's imagining childhood like you did- bright, wild, and beautiful. It's all you can hope for. And it just breaks you apart. But that's all you can hope for. Mildly living for that one bright star...but it's also so sad to know that you've lost that.
And after all that, I just had this thought of...what if I was becoming my mom?
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