Formspring.

Someone asked: "why do you look down on everyone else?"

Why is it worded this way? It's like an accusation. Not "Do you look down on everyone?" It's like "You do look down on everyone. Why?"

I don't look down on everyone. I find alot of good in a lot of people, but more often than not people just confuse me; their motives, their motivations, their reactions. Alot I don't agree with, and I feel like many people could agree with that, so I don't know why it's such a big deal that I don't really "get" people.

I have hope for humanity. I have hope for good intentions and good outcomes, but sometimes there's just one bad person who...is just wrong. And I guess that discourages me. I've become aware that people are stupid, even me. I don't have some silent contempt against everyone around me. I have more bitterness towards myself than anyone else. So, who ever asked, does that make you happy? You're better than me, really. Congratulations. That's not hard to accomplish.

I care about people. Alot. I find the few people who I'm able to connect with and from that point, I care. I care about anything that has to deal with you. Once I feel for you, you could tell me anything and I wouldn't judge you because I know that at some point in my life I've done something just as worthy of embarrassment or shame. Who the hell am I to judge you? And I already love you, that can't change.

So, I'm sorry if I give off the impression that I'm a pompous bitch who doesn't give a shit about anyone. I do. I care more than most. That might be why I protect myself. It's easy for me to be hurt, but I love to love. It's what helps me most. So it's so unbelievably bothersome to me when someone doesn't like me. But isn't that what we all want? To be liked, appreciated, wanted?

I went off on a tangent, but that one question; that one simple question really did something to me. I felt deeply disturbed by it. I needed to fix it.